Skip navigation! Story from Sex. Molly Horan. Yet, when people talk about "losing your virginity" as a sexual right of passage, it's almost always discussed in heteronormative terms: A woman gets her cherry "popped" via male penetration, and suddenly, neither of them are virgins anymore. But outside of male-female relationships, what does it mean to "lose your virginity"?
21 Things to Know Before Losing Your Gay Virginity
I lost my virginity to someone I loved, and to this day, I feel very lucky for that. As a gay man, I had always figured my first time wouldn't be special; that the expectation that two men would be down to bang immediately after getting together would cheapen my experience. Luckily, I was wrong. Still, as a man, everything I had learned about sex in the media up to that point had taught me that I was supposed to feel next-to-nothing the first time that I had sex; that it didn't matter for me in the long run the way it seemed to for women. Movies like American Pie and Porkey's taught me and my peers that young men are supposed to sleep with as many women as they can — and love it.
I was 19 when I first had full-on sex with another man. I was at college, living in dorms, and the experience—aside from the usual horrifying awkwardness and somewhat spontaneity of the occasion—was completely and utterly unremarkable aside from one thing: the guy I slept with identified as straight. It was late or early, depending on your outlook on the world when I was joined by the boy who was living in the room next to mine, way back on the other side of the building. He was clearly intoxicated, but it was a party after all and who was I, quite drunk myself, to judge. The minutiae of exactly how things developed from us being together in that room to us having slightly unsuccessful sex in a bathroom in a different corridor have since escaped me.